RolingerHome

Recently I received a letter from a dear sister and asked her permission to share it with you. I hope it encourages you to step out and minister to others no matter what your life situation.

"I really appreciated your recent posts on loneliness and on the new chapter in your life. They rang so loudly in my heart and I'm so thankful you wrote about those things. A few years ago, a friend and I were praying about what ministry the Lord would give us in our local assembly...we felt lonely as singles. We felt like misfits and it was easy to feel sorry for our life situation. But out of our prayers we recognized another group that felt lonely too...and that was the older ones...the ones with the gray hair, the failing health, the ones losing their spouses, etc. So we started to spend time getting to know them...taking a meal to them, having them over for a meal, taking them out for a meal...dropping bread off at their house, etc. Oh what a blessing it has been. I know they will tell you they are the ones being blessed but the truth of the matter is that we are the ones blessed by getting to know them. I've learned from them about the Lord..I've learned about the Word....I've learned that life is short and my life is changed for the better  because I have spent time getting to know these older people that have so much to give. And yet so often these are the ones that are "invisible". These are the ones that are forgotten and set aside. It reminds me of working with the disabled. They are in the same shoes as the elderly. They don't always say the right thing and they often do things "wrong". They spill on themselves and you can't always understand them. They may walk funny, they may drool a little....but they are people who want to be noticed and loved.Take the time to get to know them, the person God made them to be and your heart will be blessed beyond measure.  Oh that we might have eyes like our Savior and see the "unlovable" and love them without measure, just like He has done for us!" :)

Amen, sister and thanks! I want that kind of heart!

For not one of us lives for himself,
and not one dies for himself;
for if we live, we live for the Lord,
or if we die, we die for the Lord;
therefore whether we live or die,
we are the Lord's.
Romans 14:7, 8

Your eyes have seen my unformed substance; And in Your book were all written the days that were ordained for me, when as yet there was not one of them. Psalm 139:16

God has a book named Nancy in which all my days were recorded before I even entered this world! Amazing and wonderful thought! (There's one with your name on it too!)

It has helped and encouraged me to know that right now I am in a new chapter of that book entitled something like "Craig and Nancy Care for Mumsy." (Our book is filled with many chapters, right?) Mumsy has heard me get phone calls asking me to speak somewhere and I say "I'm sorry. I am unable right now because God has given me a new ministry." The other day she was explaining to someone that I wasn't going somewhere to speak because I had a new ministry, and she pointed to herself with a sweet smile. I love that picture!

In looking back and processing what I'm learning, I realize at least two things have helped me in this new chapter of my life. Maybe they will help and encourage you in your new chapter.

First, I stopped clinging to the past and whatever belonged THERE that doesn't belong HERE. This is a process that has helped me tremendously! I stopped clinging to things like speaking, material possessions, relationships, hobbies, and desires that don't fit in this chapter. (Like staying all day in my jammies. Hey, that was hard!) This is an ongoing challenge. This week I realized there was something to which I was clinging that had to go. Whew, what freedom!

Once I stopped clinging, then I could move forward. Craig and I prayed and planned for this new chapter. We set up our home to make caregiving work. We organized for new goals and priorities. (I love organizing, so that part is enjoyable!) We continue each day to move forward as new challenges and opportunities arise.

Today I'm thankful for these two helps from God (which will help me in the future!) Stop clinging. Move forward!

Isn't it great that God helps us in our new chapters? What really thrills me is that I know how my book ends! I'm not sure about this chapter, or the next, or the next, but I know the ending of the book!

These things I have written to you who believe in the name of the Son of God,
so that you may know that you have eternal life.
1John 5:13

I will be forever with the Lord because of Jesus. What about your ending?

A father of the fatherless and a judge for the widows, Is God in His holy habitation. God makes a home for the lonely...
Psalm 68:5, 6

I've been wanting to write what I'm learning about loneliness for a long time, but it's hard to put into words. How would I state it in a sentence? People are lonely, older people are especially lonely, and we can provide them a home. I love the above verse. God cares for the fatherless, widows and lonely. (and so can we!)

My mom has been an active woman all her life. She was the wife of the director of Lake Geneva Youth Camp. In those days she did it all. She cleaned, cooked for hundreds, and was a hostess extraordinaire. Later she was involved in ministry with local assemblies and camps throughout the United States. Always around people, always working, and always where the action was. Such an amazing, hospitable woman.

Then something happened. (it will happen to us!)
She got old.
The action moved elsewhere.
Her husband died.
She got lonely.

My goal is to make her a home until she gets home (where there will be no loneliness.)
I need your help. I want you to join this ministry with the lonely. They need you.

I have observed that people generally find it hard to be around old people.
They aren't cool.
Their manners aren't good.
They can't carry on a conversation.
Why bother? Well, because God does.

How do you this? Glad you asked!
I learned how to make a home for the lonely from a nine year old girl.
Mom and I were at a gathering and people weren't sitting at our table.
Pretty much all the other tables filled with people until there was nowhere left to sit.
I felt it.
I could see mom felt it.
Loneliness.
(For me it felt like standing in line waiting to be chosen for the team, but you were the last. Rejection.)

Then a nine year old girl came over and sat with mom.
She put her hand on mom's arm.
She said, "Hello, nice to see you."
My mom's face lit up. (I love that! I live to light up that face!)

"Hello. Nice to see you too. Who is this girl, Nancy?"
This might have deterred others, but not this girl.
She proceeded to ask mom questions...
"How was your day?"
"What did you do today?"
She wasn't getting long answers so she decided to take control of the conversation.
She proceeded to tell mom all about her recent camp experience.
The things she made. The things she did.
Eventually she said, "It was so good talking with you. See you later."

Mom talked about her for the rest of the week. A nine year old provided a home for my mother!
What did she do? Paid attention to her. Showed her a little bit of love and kindness. Not hard!

Last night I met an older woman who wanted, no, needed companionship.
(Thank you, Lord, that I recognized it instead of living in my own little world.)
I stopped what I was doing. I looked at her. I listened.
I prayed, "God help me to make a home for her like that little girl did for mom.)

I write this, as with my other blogs, so that I won't forget this when my mom has gone to her heavenly home. But I also write to encourage you! Make a home for some lonely person today. Let's do this!

Behold, the eye of the LORD is on those who fear Him, On those who hope for His lovingkindness. Psalm 33:18

I will instruct you and teach you in the way which you should go; I will counsel you with My eye upon you. Psalm 32:8

I have a camera focused on mom always watching her. We watch her at night although we are in the next room.
(It beats getting up every time we hear a noise, which is a lot!)
I watch during the day when she is sleeping so I can go upstairs and get some work done, all the while keeping my eye on her. I have her on the screen in my living room and even on my phone. Fantastic technology!

Frankly, this freaks out some people.
The most frequently asked question is, "Does she know your watching her?"
Yes, pretty much everyone knows when they step in her living room they are being watched.
It's no secret.
When I leave her I say,
"Mumsy, I'll be watching you and I'll know if you need me and I'll be right down."
If I forget to say something like that she'll say, "Will you be watching me?"

To Mumsy, it's a great comfort because she knows she is never alone.
I love her and will run to her aid.

Do you know God is watching you?
Does that freak you out or comfort you?

It's such a comfort to me. I know He loves me and will run to my aid.
And, unlike me, He doesn't miss anything!
Mumsy will say, "Did you see me wave to you?"
At the moment she waved, I wasn't looking and I missed it.
God doesn't miss anything.

If this isn't a comfort to you, I'd say you need a relationship with a loving Heavenly Father.
(I would love to help you with that, if you'd like, email me!)

I'm so glad He watches me! and you!

Why should I feel discouraged, why should the shadows come,
Why should my heart be lonely, and long for heaven and home,
When Jesus is my portion? My constant friend is He:
His eye is on the sparrow, and I know He watches me;
His eye is on the sparrow, and I know He watches me.

“Let not your heart be troubled,” His tender word I hear,
And resting on His goodness, I lose my doubts and fears;
Though by the path He leadeth, but one step I may see;
His eye is on the sparrow, and I know He watches me;
His eye is on the sparrow, and I know He watches me.

Whenever I am tempted, whenever clouds arise,
When songs give place to sighing, when hope within me dies,
I draw the closer to Him, from care He sets me free;
His eye is on the sparrow, and I know He watches me;
His eye is on the sparrow, and I know He watches me.

I sing because I’m happy,
I sing because I’m free,
For His eye is on the sparrow,
And I know He watches me.

I think one of the hardest things about caring for someone is watching the changes that occur daily as they journey home. At the same time, one of the most thrilling things about caring for someone is watching the changes that occur in me.

Perseverance.
Sympathy.
Patience.
Joy.
Gratitude.

God is giving me a make over! It's amazing.
It's painful.
It's lovely.
Thank you, Lord.

When we respond correctly to the disciplines in our life, God changes us.
I want to respond and learn. Don't you?

I'm writing these blogs so that I will remember what God is doing, but also to encourage you. Whatever you are going through right now, submit to God.
He'll change you... and that's a good thing.

And not only this, but we also exult in our tribulations,
knowing that tribulation brings about perseverance;
and perseverance,
proven character; and proven character,
hope;
and hope does not disappoint,
because the love of God has been poured out within our hearts
through the Holy Spirit who was given to us.
Romans 5:3-5

The disciples were in a terrifying storm in a boat.
Thankfully, the Lord was there too, and when He spoke a word, "Peace", everything changed.
Their statement following the incident gripped me today.
"What kind of a man is this, that EVEN the winds and the sea obey Him?"
Matthew 8:27

I recently stood at a raging sea. (See pictures)
The wind and the surf were so loud, we had to yell at each other to be heard.
It was an awesome experience!
It was overwhelming!
It gave me a sense of what the disciples were talking about!
EVEN these winds and the sea and the raging obey Him! WOW!
(They didn't understand He is the creator and sustainer of all things!)

This is such a beautiful picture of life!
We all encounter storms,
raging,
terrifying,
outside of our control...

This word is an encouragement for us.
EVEN this... He controls!

It's true for you and me today! That makes me glad!!!!

How excellent is thy lovingkindness, O God! therefore the children of men put their trust under the shadow of thy wings. Psalm 36:7

Mumsy can't do much for herself, and when she does she usually gets into trouble, (we say she's up to her shenanigans again!) I get her dressed, I feed her, I read to her, I take care of her. She trusts me.

I can't do much for myself and when I do I get into trouble. (Do you think God says, "She's up to her shenanigans again!)
I simply have to trust Him.

I trusted Him to save me from my sins (I hope you have! Nothing YOU do will get you to heaven, You must trust Him!) He saved me, He keeps me, He gives me my next breath. If it weren't for Him, I couldn't live. So what do I do? I go on trusting Him.

Every once in awhile mumsy forgets to trust me and starts panicking over something.
(Like losing her teeth the other night, and tearing through drawers, and searching in the toilet bowl, when all the while I knew where they were.)
Craig said, "You don't have to worry about anything, just ask Nancy."
I said, "Mumsy, you don't have to panic about anything, just ask me!" Hmmmmm.

Every once in awhile I forget He is trustworthy and has everything under control.
I panic in the same way mumsy does and try to take care of things,
when all the while He whispers,
"Nancy, you don't have to panic about anything, I have it under control. Just ask me!"
Oh, to learn my lesson!

Simply trusting every day,
Trusting through a stormy way;
Even when my faith is small,
Trusting Jesus, that is all.

Trusting as the moments fly,
Trusting as the days go by;
Trusting Him whate'er befall,
Trusting Jesus, that is all.

Mumsy's life is pretty simple right now.
It consists of one thing, living.
Oh, yes, she eats and sleeps and loves God's people, but that's it.
She is enjoying a simple life filled with simple pleasures.
(I love that for her!)

In one sense my life
has gotten pretty simple.
I take care of mumsy.
(so there are lots of things i can't do, or won't do, or don't do)
I find great pleasure in this simple life.
(I love that for me!)

It hasn't always been simple.
When mumsy's care got to the 24/7 level,
I had to stop doing a lot of other things,
so I could care for her.
It was complicated until God helped me simplify.

This verse struck me today:
"But I am afraid that,
as the serpent deceived Eve by his craftiness,
your minds will be led astray
from the simplicity and purity of devotion to Christ."
2 Corinthians 11:3

Hmmm....Simplicity of devotion to Christ.
Our life should simply be devoted to Christ!
We shouldn't have our affections drawn away by anyone or anything else.
(Not even our SELVES!)
Pretty simple.

Then why does it seem complicated?

Satan wants it complicated.
Satan will fool us into thinking it's complicated.
Nope! It's simple.
(I love that for us!)

Now we have to work at getting it and keeping it simple.
It's all about devotion to Christ!

More love to Thee, O Christ, more love to Thee!
Hear Thou the prayer I make on bended knee.
This is my earnest plea: More love, O Christ, to Thee;
More love to Thee, more love to Thee!

Once earthly joy I craved, sought peace and rest;
Now Thee alone I seek, give what is best.
This all my prayer shall be: More love, O Christ to Thee;
More love to Thee, more love to Thee!

That cutie above is Anne Moffitt who was here for three weeks helping with mumsy.
I just love the picture!

That I may proclaim with the voice of thanksgiving and declare all Your wonders. Psalm 26:7

We have so many things for which to be thankful!
The Lord is helping me to remember in caregiving to be thankful!
I'm thankful I can kiss mumsy's cheeks every day!
I'm thankful... no wait, if I started a list here of the things for which I say thanks,
it would go on and on!

This summer I read a book called "One Thousand Gifts A Dare to Live Fully Right Where You Are." http://onethousandgifts.com/

I think you will enjoy this: http://youtu.be/GhOUaszMGvQ

What I appreciated about the book was the call to
"move our focus beyond the burdens of life to the blessings of now" and write them down.
Make a list. This is a Biblical principle. Thanksgiving transforms us.

So I started my list and love reading and rereading it.
I'm not even close to one thousand, but I'm enjoying the journey.
I encourage you to do the same!

At the head of my list I am compiling poems or verses related to giving thanks.
This is my latest hymn...

When upon life's billows you are tempest tossed,
When you are discouraged, thinking all is lost,
Count your many blessings, name them one by one,
And it will surprise you what the Lord hath done.

Count your blessings, name them one by one,
Count your blessings, see what God hath done!
Count your blessings, name them one by one,
And it will surprise you what the Lord hath done.

Are you ever burdened with a load of care?
Does the cross seem heavy you are called to bear?
Count your many blessings, every doubt will fly,
And you will keep singing as the days go by.

When you look at others with their lands and gold,
Think that Christ has promised you His wealth untold;
Count your many blessings. Wealth can never buy
Your reward in heaven, nor your home on high.

So, amid the conflict whether great or small,
Do not be disheartened, God is over all;
Count your many blessings, angels will attend,
Help and comfort give you to your journey's end.

"So Jesus, being wearied from His journey, was sitting thus by the well."
John 4:6 (KJV says He sat on the well.)

The Lord gave this word to me one weary morning, I thought you would enjoy it too!
This verse encourages me on so many levels. It is worth some meditation!

The LORD was weary!
      The omnipotent One who created the world, weary. Think about it! Wow!
The Lord was WEARY!
      Fatigued. So much so that he sat on the well.
      Have you been so weary you just had to sit down? I have!
The LORD WAS WEARY!
      He understands my weariness and yours. I find that very comforting!
His weariness was a result of His JOURNEY.
      So many good thoughts here! It was result of His journey, and mine too.
      (Wow, I'm following in the footsteps of the Savior!)

I mulled this verse over all that day! I was so comforted seeing the weary Lord Jesus sitting on the well. When putting mumsy to bed in the evening and reading our hymn for the night, I read part of a hymn that never meant so much to me...

Thine almighty arms are round me,
And my head is on Thy breast
For my weary soul has found
Thee such a perfect perfect rest.
Gracious Savior, gracious Savior,
now I know that I am blest.

Thank you, Lord! If you are weary because you are doing your own thing, I'm sad for you!
If you are weary because you are serving the Lord, be encouraged!
YOU are blest!